It really started out in my opinion as one of the more disciplined weeks so far in the Trump reality show presidency. In fact my favorite source for news, CNN was beginning to drive me nuts with the Kavanaugh reporting. How could we spend an entire week interviewing the same folks, asking the same questions 20 hours a day. It was almost like the hurricane never happened. Also another mass shooting happened at a Rite Aid distribution center barely was able to be stuffed in between Kavanaugh bullshit. I understand that they don’t want to give mass shooters a platform, but maybe you are not making enough of a fuss. These things seem to happen weekly, and nobody bats an eyelash. I don’t get it. You Americans and your guns baffle me. But I digress.
I am going to switch gears a bit and leave my interest in US Politics behind this week. I want to start with a little background on myself. I worked in the printing industry for 33 years, and while not always loving my job, the majority of my time I loved doing what I did. I loved the guys I worked with as well and have forged lifelong friendships with many of them. Despite being their boss, and not always making decisions they agreed with, they were always respectful, and as each one of them were let go for restructuring, they always stayed in contact. In 2017, my turn finally came to be “restructured”, and with all honesty it was a welcome arrival. Or so I thought. I was able to negotiate a very good package, and quickly move on. I decided that I would take the rest of 2017 off and planned a nice road trip to Florida with my family. We planned everything down to the minute, and actually were part of the mass evacuation on September 7th that year. It was an adventure getting home, but also something I would not trade for anything. We met some great people who were fleeing their homes and not sure what they would return to after Irma hit. Such resiliency in all of these people from Florida, Georgia, North, and South Carolina bugging out for their life, but wishing us a safe journey, even though I knew I was going home to a place that would not be touched by a hurricane. Ontario, Canada is not a hurricane hotspot.
In January of 2018 I decided I would start looking for a job in an unfamiliar field, and I spent a few months spinning my wheels to nothing I could bank on. I then hooked up with a print industry head hunter, and was interviewing with them in a week, and they were lining me up with a job a few weeks later. During the time between the interview with the head-hunter, and being set up to interview with the company, my life took a major U-Turn.
I had taken a FOBT test which tests your stool, my sample came back as abnormal, and within a week I had a colonoscopy, and a diagnosis of rectal cancer. I have to tell you once you get a diagnosis like that, your life kicks in to high gear, and you are assigned a team of doctors. I was lucky enough to end up at one of the best cancer centers in our country, at Sunnybrook’s Odette centre. I went through a blurr of tests and meetings which were all overwhelming, but luckily my wife was at my side for every moment and was able to keep asking the right questions, and keeping every appointment scheduled for me to attend. In mid May I had an operation called an illiostomy, and two weeks later I would begin chemotherapy, and like I said it was all a blur. I should mention that in September of 2017 I weighed 240 lbs, and by the time I began chemotherapy in late May of 2018, I had plummeted to 160 lbs so I was only a shadow of myself and very weak. Fast forward to September of 2018, and I have had 8 chemo treatments and have gained back 27 lbs. Personal victory for me, and in no way am I looking for sympathy from anyone, but this explains why I can spend many hours through the day digesting Trump news, and their were some days the news cycle would change 4 or 5 times, and I became hooked on Trump and his absolute misunderstanding of how to “President “. So my life tragedy of a cancer diagnosis revealed a major passion for US politics.
So again, regarding this week, I was just getting to the point that I could not listen to the same rhetoric over and over arguing the same statements over and over, and listening to Kelley Ann Conway actually sound like a living breathing human, and the president almost act normal for the week, I had another blow to my life, that was veiled in somewhat good news. I had a CT scan done on Tuesday this week to see how the chemotherapy is progressing, and on Thursday of this week I got a phone call from my oncologist. They had done a chest scan as well as the rest of the torso. He called to tell me that the primary tumor had shrunk, and all lymph nodes had shown shrinkage too, which is great and what I was hoping for. After only 8 chemo treatments, there was noticeable reduction in the tumor and nodes. But then he quickly changed gears, and told me that my lungs were not showing any tumors, nor anywhere else, but the CT scan showed that I had an acute pulmonary embolism in my lung which required me to drop everything I was doing, and immediately head to the hospital. I would now have to give myself daily injections of anticoagulants, and had to go into the hospital to learn how to do this to myself. This was crushing to me, and I admit I fell apart a bit. A bit of self pity came over me, “ I cant deal with more shit” “ don’t I have enough on my plate” comes to mind. I am not a big fan of needles, and have something installed in my chest subcutaneously called a port that all my chemo runs through, and they take blood from too. Helps keep your veins from collapsing, so having that took a lot of stress away. Now I will have to inject myself daily in the stomach or thighs. Yikes!!!! Like I said, overwhelming and crushing, but necessary if I want live, as PE’s can kill you if not treated.
Today was the first day I soloed as my own nurse, and I woke up this morning, and dreaded having to do this all day. Today I met some friends and went up to Orillia to an executive airport to plane spot, sand have lunch and hang out, and the whole time while I was having fun, I could not stop watching the clock, t minus 4 hours, 3 hours etc, running in my head. Finally at home later the time arrived, and I honestly didn’t know if I could do it. I cleaned the area on my stomach, took the cap off the syringe, pinched a fold of skin, and sat there. Looking at this needle no thicker than a hair, and I was paralyzed with fear. I’m thinking to myself, a grown ass man frightened of a tiny needle. My wife was there and is my biggest cheerleader, so with a few encouraging words, and a countdown, in went the needle, an lo and behold, it is not a big deal. The medicine burns a bit, and continues to burn for a few minutes after, but I did it, and quickly realized that I had spent 2 days in abject fear about something ridiculous, that I thought was going to be a daily fear for the next few months, or longer. Sometimes a little perspective can help, and my wife told me, remember there is always someone out there worse than you, and there are millions of children out there that will have to do this their whole life. At that point you realize she is right, I have a minor speed bump in life, they have a major hurdle for life. Its eye opening.
Again, I am not looking for sympathy from anyone, but wanted to share with you how I became do interested in politics. And by the way the GOP really needs some perspective when it comes to the Kavanaugh, Blasey Ford hearing, and give this woman the respect she deserves, and allow an investigation into this. She really has nothing to gain and everything to lose. After all, when an alterboy comes forward with allegations of sexual assault 35 years after it happened, no one questions him. Why is Christine Blasey-Ford different?
Thanks for listening.